Before I became a father there were future financial costs that I was well aware of when it came to raising a child. I was aware that the hospital bill would be quite large... and insurance only covers a portion of that. I knew that I would have to purchase formula... and that stuff ain't exactly cheap. I know that over the course of an infants first few months he/she will grow at a exhaustingly fast rate. Some studies have predicted that if the rate of growth in the first year of an infants life were to continue through the adolescent years to the age of twenty... that the average adult would be 22 feet tall. Random I know.... anyway, needless to say... children grow quickly. The best invention is the "Onesies". You can't go wrong. A pack of three is four bucks. All kinds of colors and designs. They can spit-up on them and you can just throw another one on them in a sec. Even 3 to 6 month clothes are not too badly priced. I can get a full matching jogging suit for under ten bucks!!! Oh... but wait... you need shoes with that jogging suit.
... this is where I have an issue. So, I take a stroll over to the shoe section. Note that I'm in a "discount" department store. Low and behold... I find shoes. Blue ones, green ones, brown ones, black ones, white ones. Shoes with velcrow, shoes with laces, shoes with snaps. I find dress shoes, play shoes, casual shoes... a shoe for all occasions. Even a shoe with little lights that flicker with matching bells that ring. (as if we don't have enough little things that ring and ding and light up.) So... my selection satisfies me. I glance at the little tag under each pair of shoes... it says, "$15.99, $19.99, $22.99...!!!!!!!" WHAT!!!!!! I look around to see what the other shoes cost thinking I accidentally walked into the wrong store. As if the 12 foot "WalMart" sign at the entrance was mistakenly left up after the new "Baby Cakes" owners took over and changed out the stock. I was dumb-founded. I looked to my left and saw "adult" running shoes... $19.99. Look to my left and saw steel toe construction boots... $24.99. Am I stupid?... or does that not make sense. Wait a second, let me get this straight... I can buy a pair of all weather, water resistant, oil resistant, slip resistant, genuine leather boots with 10 feet of lace so you can tie your entire leg to the shoe... and a piece of formed steel that will prevent a forklift from crushing my foot... all for a few dollars more than a miniature shoe that could double as a keychain trinket!! That doesn't make sense to me. I could buy a pair of those boots, cut 'em up and make four pairs of steel toe baby boots. Not that my son will be on a Navy flight deck or a stock yard driving a crane but.... come on. For $24.99... I could protect newborn twins from freezing temperatures, oil, and other random chemicals left from a toxic waste spill. Just slide that little kid into a boot... your good to go. But no... I have to buy these little shoes. Oh, and by the way, these little shoes have a proper foot arch and ankle support. ... right, because my 7 month old is preparing himself for a 1000 mile backpacking adventure along the Appalachian Trail. He's gonna start in North Georgia and end up in Maine. Good thing he's got that ankle support.
Maybe there are just some things I will never understand.
... the shoes do look cute on his little feet.
... this is where I have an issue. So, I take a stroll over to the shoe section. Note that I'm in a "discount" department store. Low and behold... I find shoes. Blue ones, green ones, brown ones, black ones, white ones. Shoes with velcrow, shoes with laces, shoes with snaps. I find dress shoes, play shoes, casual shoes... a shoe for all occasions. Even a shoe with little lights that flicker with matching bells that ring. (as if we don't have enough little things that ring and ding and light up.) So... my selection satisfies me. I glance at the little tag under each pair of shoes... it says, "$15.99, $19.99, $22.99...!!!!!!!" WHAT!!!!!! I look around to see what the other shoes cost thinking I accidentally walked into the wrong store. As if the 12 foot "WalMart" sign at the entrance was mistakenly left up after the new "Baby Cakes" owners took over and changed out the stock. I was dumb-founded. I looked to my left and saw "adult" running shoes... $19.99. Look to my left and saw steel toe construction boots... $24.99. Am I stupid?... or does that not make sense. Wait a second, let me get this straight... I can buy a pair of all weather, water resistant, oil resistant, slip resistant, genuine leather boots with 10 feet of lace so you can tie your entire leg to the shoe... and a piece of formed steel that will prevent a forklift from crushing my foot... all for a few dollars more than a miniature shoe that could double as a keychain trinket!! That doesn't make sense to me. I could buy a pair of those boots, cut 'em up and make four pairs of steel toe baby boots. Not that my son will be on a Navy flight deck or a stock yard driving a crane but.... come on. For $24.99... I could protect newborn twins from freezing temperatures, oil, and other random chemicals left from a toxic waste spill. Just slide that little kid into a boot... your good to go. But no... I have to buy these little shoes. Oh, and by the way, these little shoes have a proper foot arch and ankle support. ... right, because my 7 month old is preparing himself for a 1000 mile backpacking adventure along the Appalachian Trail. He's gonna start in North Georgia and end up in Maine. Good thing he's got that ankle support.
Maybe there are just some things I will never understand.
... the shoes do look cute on his little feet.
