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"Random Thoughts"

Thursday, July 21, 2005


"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."

"People teach their dogs to sit. It's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."

"I have a friend who wanted to be an actor, but he never made it. He does live in a trailer. He got half way. So I guess he's an actor, but he's just never called to the set."

"I've played golf. I've never gotten a whole one but I did hit a guy once. Your suppose to yell, "FORE!!"..... but I was too busy mumbling, "there is no way it's gonna hit him."

"I like rice. Rice is great if your hungry and want two thousand of something."

"I can't get into flossing. I just can't. People who smoke tell me, 'you have no idea how hard it is to stop smoking.' Yes I do!! It's as hard as it is to start flossing. 'You seem jittery. Yeah, I'm about to floss."

"Sometimes I would like to be a rebellious McDonalds owner. Hamburgers....nope.... we got spaghetti."

Mitch Hedberg - Feb. 24th 1968 - March 30th 2005